It's 7 days till Macau Marathon 2009. I usually look forward to an event even though I know it's a long and tough one. However this time, not only I'm looking forward to it, I can't help myself from having negative thoughts. In other words, I'm worried and I'm scared.
In throughout my running career, I have always learn to respect the distance especially the marathon. I do not fear the distance of 42.195KM but instead, it tells me or rather act as a reminder on what I can or cannot do. And as I approach my 9th marathon, my respect for it will still be the same, except I fear for something else now. Something of which I do not know how to put in words. Trying to achieve my marathon dream is one, but surviving it will be another issue here.
Frankly speaking, I do not know if I'm ready to run my marathon dream. Only close to 3 years of running, no doubt it's going to be real tough. But once a goal is set, I guess there is no turning back. Returning from a month's layback due to injury and with only 4 months worth of training, things does look bleak.
As a cancer survivor, I have seen life from a different point of view. The ups and downs, victories and struggles, life and death and so much more. I've learn to appreciate the journey through life since that faithful day. I still remember most of them that shared the same ward with me. All of them were just kids, toddlers with most not even 10 years of age. I'm sure they do not know what was going on then, but side by side did we fought together. A few went down fighting and seeing parents shed tears for a lost young one is certainly not a sight that we all want to see.
And on a lonely Sunday today, I went through some of my old photo albums to look back on the journey I had. I look back at my running photos especially those I had with my friends and I even read this blog again from the first entry till the latest. The memories flooded my mind and vision instantly as if they just happened as I went through all of them. I do not know what will happen in next week, but for sure I'm carrying those memories with me even if the one thing I fear happens then.